StruttinOnHaight: Quod me nutrit me distruit
"what nourishes me also destroys me"
i had a nice convo with flacy's girlfriend. she's the sweetest thing EVER. her name is seth, isn't that so cute? and shes jus precious. she's going thru a lot and needs support. as we got to talking i realized how similar we are. many things that i've gone thru she is going thru now..there is jus so much that i hated dealing wiht that she is NOW dealing wiht. i jus wish that she didn't have to go thru with all this. i wish and hope that things are different for her.
Seth: you are a sweety. you don deserve any of the pain you're going thru. nor do you deserve any heartbreak or excess pain that COULD or COULDNOT come. i jus hope that everything goes well for you. and you're happy. i hope that matt treats you well and that your entire situation sits well with you as it carries out. good luck in this matter. im sure we'll talk later. or sooner..whatever lol. good luck and if you need anything ANYTHING i'm usually around on the weekends i have no life.
<3 lyza

to all my friends
Adolfo: you know that i love you deeply in a way that i have never loved anyone other than syd. you know how much i care for you and how much love you make me feel. but if you indeed know this, then why do i constantly want to tell you. i always want to call you and tell you that i love you. tell you how much you mean to me how muchyou meant to me. i love you more than life. more than self. so many times i've waken up in the middle of the night (while i've been away) thinking i'm not going to see my adolfo for a while. i love him so much. i dream about what an amazing friend ship we have/ had. and how i want to continue it when i get back, when things go back to normal. i want more than anything to have you in my life. to have you as a friend. you're like a brother figure to me. you are my sun and stars. you shine when no one else could. when no one could make me smile you always try your hardest and you always succeed. you always make my day better and no one else has ever made me a better person like you do. you and sydney are basically my everything you make me sooooooo much happier! i love you sooo much!!! well im gonna go nap love love love love you! muah! muah! kisses!!

ugh, im sick. this sucks!!!! who got me sick you may ask?????????????? that fucker will remain nameless! oh well, hah it was worth it. lol well i miss you all very much. heres to you
Syd: i love you so much! i've been missing you immensely. i feel so lost with out you in my life. i've tried to make up for lost time. by writing you letters all the time. but the only problem is that i dont know where i can mail things..so i guess i'll just email and such. i miss you so much. i miss you and school and life. and everything about all of my life around you. you know what i mean? that doesn't really make sense..i guess im just saying i miss every aspect of my life that had to do with you.. and considering you were just a boutmy everything in hmb thats a lot! when i think about what an amazing person i left behind. such and amazing friend (and lover lol) i never really got to write you a letter about how much i care for you. or how many emotions you make me feel. or how you make me feel in general. but i guess nows my chance? alsallsdlfkakkasdkajsldkjasoiwerialskjdfgalks.m,dnvv,amsnclk,x,,,cvz,xmcnvzcnxvkjshffa;ofKJSDFFK. thats the amount of emotion i feel for you. i love you sooooooooo much! and you are one of the BEST friends i've ever had. and i hope that we continue to be friends forever...or atleast as long as we can. you dont know, and i dotn think you'll ever know the severity of how much i need you. im inclined to say that becaue it scares me, but i believe that i do. your friendship and well being mean more to me than anyone's ever has. your well being means more to me than my own. you are amazing, sydney tan. you make my star shine bright. while at the same time keeping yours brighter! i've become teary in just saying these things to you. but you are my everything, atleast al i need. and i dont have you here with me. we aren't together to help one another get through things. and its hard for me to accept. but i guess im going to have to deal with it. it really really sucks though. because i NEED you here. and you aren't. nor am i, there. but i guess this is one of those thingis you have to let run its course. i think we were meant to be friends for along time and since we are so far apart we have to MAKE it work. its like a relationship (well its a sort of relationship) we have to keep in touch and keep communication lines visable. make sure you keep in touch with me and make sure you and i never stop talking!!!! MAKE SURE! and dont let anyone else take my place. (unless its gracie! lol) she can have my place. hehe, well i guess i need to stop being so sappy and tell you that i miss you and love you and i need you. and i hope that i see you as soon as possible because with out you my life doesn't feel right. infact i feel a little off thinking you aren't here...or anywhere around..in fact your in HAWAII! achk. although i am in texas and not at home..ugh i better go its getting late.. i wanna go lay down..lol i love you lots!! talk to you when i can. bye bye

okay...so i left home!
i'm stoked!?! althought now i'm not really sure what im gonna do. i'm in texas staying at max's but i dont know for how long. what if he gets sick of me. and wants me to leave..then where willi go?
i really just dont know what to do..its gonna be wayyyyyyyy hard not having anywhere to go. but i think that if i get a job and help buy food and shit i'll be okay. so i'm not really worried! but i think that they're gonna take care of me pretty well. no worries. talked to stacy today, she told me mom and dad are depressed and miss me. but its not like they didn't get what they wanted. i mean, i love them, but seriously, who can punish there kids that much, my dad is such a control freak. he bastically pushed me away .. he didn't want me there anyway..lol sigh! im tired!? hm, i think that i should nap, i'm tired from the trip still and i think that if i sleep now and get acclimated to the time difference i'll be okay! 2 hours is a lot! from although it was gradual for me cause of the bus..its still weird. oh well. hm? i'm home alone, in texas..i dont know anyone..and im horribly lonely..and so horny that it hurts..hopefully tomorrow i can get some.
lol doubt it..no one is around.
sigh! i'm tired..imma nap? maybe..who knows

immatureboy5: I love you... have a safe trip and call me or call syd when you get there or as soon as you can. Dont take candy from strangers and remember to be safe. Look both ways before crossing the street. Remember that if you dont like it in Texas you can always come back because you will have friends that love you and care for you. Keep in touch. Hopefully we can hang out during spring break but lets talk about that at some other time. Well i guess this is goodbye, hopefully not forever but for a short time. My heart will always have a spot for you, dont forget. Good night