"Everything" Fefe Dobson

Ayo ladadayo
Ayo ladadayo ladeeda
Sometimes I give in to sadness
Sometimes I don't
Doo doo doo doo
At times I'm part of the madness
Sometimes I won't
Give in to you
You see in a way
I have been drifting down a river
To nowhere
And you've given me nothing
But if you're ready to be my everything
If you're ready to see it through this time
And if you're ready for love then
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time
Ladeeda ayo
ladadayo ladeeda
At times I feel myself smiling
At times I'm not
Doo doo doo doo
Yeah yay
What's with the guilt that you styling baby
Talk don't look good on you
You see in a way
I have been looking for a reason to go there
And you're leading me nowhere
And if you're ready to be my everything
If you're ready to see it through this time
And if you're ready for love then
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time
Ladeeda ayo
ladadayo ladeeda
Are you waiting for a special occasion
To give me your heart
Cause I need a little confirmation
To make a real start
Don't wait till it's too late
Are you ready to show me?
Are you ready to love me?
You see in a way
I have been drifting down a river
To nowhere
And you're giving me nothing
And if you're ready to be my everything
If you're ready to see it through this time
And if you're ready for love then
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time
And if you're ready to be
Ready to be my everything
And if you're ready to see it through this time
If you're ready for love then baby
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait forever this time
ladayo ladadayo ladeeda

everyone:
this includes EVERYONE
I have a court date on the 6th. there is a chance that will go to jail.

holla at cha boy! yo yo yo what up!?!

Tiffany,
Thank you for saying that. I'm trying not to worry about how fucked up and dysfunctional my life is right now.
but i guess i have to deal with it. i'm doing the best that i can.

Sydney,
You are truly amazing. Thank you for everything...could you just put it in my cooch?? please..that would be nice. i love you..in that amazing friend way..ya know? thank you dear

Addy,
You know who you are. you know you wanna turn straight for me..hehe. i'm kidding. how was leaving your keys in the car and having a tow truck unlock it? good i hope i am laughing still from you telling me that. HAHA! i love you.

Liz,
here we are again..are things going to be the same? is this just an illusion of a friendship or are you really here? is it going to be like before?? or are you just looking for a real friend..i hope that things are good.

life...today i got my court summons. to go on january 6th. at 9am. this sucks so much i can't even deal with it. i am so upset. i hate HATE HATE HATE fucking people!?

CRY


I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended too soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

The moment that I saw you cry

It was late in september
And I'd seen you before
You were always the cold one
But i was never that sure
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

I wanted to hold you
i wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything, all right....

I'll always remember...
It was late afternoon...
In places no one would find...

In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

~Mandy Moore

Rejection!!
Lets start from the beginning. I met this AMAZING guy, named Gary. He was super cute and he was sweet and funny. He was seriously PERFECT. Played the guitar, wrote me songs, told me I was beautiful. I was truly happy. I thought that I had found Mr. Perfect, Mr. Wonderful. That was a NEGATIVE ghost rider. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Anyway, I chilled with him a couple times, before we started to talk. Chilling was always cool, we’d just hang, He’d play, or we’d talk. Or whatever. Yea. So anyway…we started to fool around and shit. Things got a little weird after that. He would always make sexual comments and shit. I would be sucking his dick and he’d just sit there. I mean, he enjoyed it, but it was way too weird knowing that I was being used. Kind of hurt. I guess I just thought that he would like me more. I guess I expected too much. Who knows? I will NEVER know. It just HURT a lot to know that he would and COULD just reject me like that. Hurts a lot to tell you the truth. Weird. I’ve never felt so much pain at once then completely lost it. I completely stopped having any feelings for him whatsoever. It was like he never existed…like he did like me and I left him. But I couldn’t have been more wrong he liked me, yes. Though he didn’t show it he liked me. He just wanted sex to tell you the truth. He wanted a piece of ass that was always around. That was always there for him. That was going to be there forever. But little did he know that I would leave him the second he treated me wrong. He treated me like I didn’t matter. He stopped talking to me randomly. Like he never felt for me at all. He said he didn’t want to get hurt but he hurt me. My way of showing affection is telling people how much they mean to me. I guess that was bad for him. I guess he didn’t want that. I’m really not sure. Yea, you left me, and you always try to come back. But I wont take you, you can’t have. You don’t own me. You own nothing. You are nothing. You aren’t what I want. Nor what I ever wanted. I’m too good for you...weird? NO!!?! you don’t deserve someone as special as me. Look at my life and look at yours I’m too happy for you. I’m sorry if you think its better to be an asshole and never love. But I *am*!!! I could and will love someone one day. You didn’t break me. You were nothing…never to be anything. You don’t deserve what you took from me. Although you didn’t take my virginity I’m sure you would have. You would take it and hurt. You would want me to feel pain. A pain that could NEVER subside. Since someone already took that you could never have made me feel that pain. You aren’t capable of that. You aren’t capable of much…

Fucking shit.


This is ridiculous…


I can’t even deal with life.


Fucking school.


They sent another letter home saying that I cut. I don’t even get it.


I’ve been in trouble why would they continue with


this letter shit!!! This fucking stupid.

Never again will you ruin my life. You can’t treat me this way. I’m going to graduate. I will succeed.

I will be happy. I won’t take this, just because you’ve taken my everything, doesn’t mean that my life’s over.

I will stay alive. I will take it into my hands. Be in control. Be happy. Stop trying to break me, stop trying to treat

me like I don’t matter. Because I know that I do. I know that there are more important things in life than you.

You aren’t my everything and you never were. You always took what you didn’t deserve and treated me like I

didn’t even affect tomorrow. But I do. I am everything. I’m my everything I don’t need you. I never needed you.

And I’m glad that I now see that you were never what I wanted to be. You aren’t where I’m going and you never

will be.

yea..so i got a little play.
I'm happy.


it was good.

but the only thing is that now we aren't talking again.


its like SHIT get with it.

i can't deal wiht it..if it's going to get like this EVERY time we get close. i can't do it. i need someone who isn't scared.

weird...um. i'm going to see gary tomorrow.


who's excited?



lysa's excited!