I don't know, things just kept fuc king up, I relaly can't handle this. School is fucked up. I dropped all of my class except for one, which I failed. I am on academic probation because of my grades. I am soooo not good right now. SO NOT.

Alright.. So I'll go on and on about my recent things in just a moment. I have some things I want to get off my chest. David things: The first time he said he loved me, he called me Sally. "I love you too, Sally." That is something I will never get over, because it hurt so badly. Finally when I 'got over' that he called me her name, I still had suspicians and problems with her, he called me her name all the time and would blow me off to "be a friend" to her all the time. I don't know, I guess I don't understand, unless you're sort of.. relationship status how you can blow off someone for six hours, but I Guess it's possible. Anyway, So I was really tired of that, THEN he told me he loved me in response to me saying it, again. When you say, "I love you too," in response to someone saying it to you. It means that you mean it in the same way! I guess david doesn't realize that, because two weeks later I realized he only meant it in the friend way. Which ripped me to pieces. So, I just kept getting tattered and torn, and we started fighting, and everything was problems problems problems. I guess I just couldn't take anymore? I don't know. One night, February 15th, 2005; david and I were talking and he says. " I have some stuff I wanna tell you." and I'm all excited thinking its something sweet and all this stuff. He goes off about how he and Sally talked about everything and it feels like the day after what happened, happened. and I'm wondering.. Doesn't that erase me? Incase you were wondering, Sally is davids "best friend." So I say, "That's really great, I'm glad you guys can be good friends again." and he says. "well, sally wants to hang out." and I'm like.. "okay that's wonderful, yay for friends <3">
Other things, I dropped my lit class and my speech class. I'm stupid for taking so many classes, it is REALLY rough on me, and I don't have the motivation to get to class and do my homework.
I've been so fucking down lately, I don't even know what's wrong with me. I need to snap the FUCK out of it. I need to get the fuck out of my house. I have said fuck so many times in this fucking journal entry. I'm ashamed.
I went to visit my friend in Oakland, he's thirty seven. Anyway, I got lost on my way home and it was so scary. David helped me get home, but then Sally called half way through, and he was really short with me and really mean until I let him go. and I'm sure he called her. Bleh, anyway, I need to get over david. I know I do.
Bleh so I get home, and I'm tired and cranky and I talked to steven all night and fell asleep on the phone with him, which we have been doing for the last few nights. It feels nice.
I love talking on the phone, I hate physical friendships.
I'm tired of my "friends" showing me phony sympathy. I'm tired of school, I'm tired of relationships. I'm tired of EVERYTHING. I want to run away and never look back, but if I do, I have no money, no car, no life, nothing.
ANYWAY. I'm over complaining. adolfo and I went out last night, and danced at the vista point on 35. It was fun. people were doing it in their car. and we got out and turned the music up full blast and danced right next to them. hahaha it was wonderful. WEll, back to playing mario kart and eating ciao <3