(another entry i wrote in my hand written journal while I was in the lonely place the room im sleeping in with no outside contact or way to write in my online journal)

sitting in an unfamiliar room. the violence. drugs?
do these people ever stop? its terriflying..
can't wait to leave... can't wait to be free of this.
can't stop thinking a past love either;

how did i love so quickly?

how was i so willing to give away my heart with the gleam of a first kiss.
its scary how we can give so much away only to be destroyed in the dusty trash-filled streets.

around the picket fence that once was her life, her heart is strewn about...
the heart that used to adore so many
now stops waiting a coherent response...

there are no more 'i love yous'
there was no heartfelt departure
she gazes into his eyes but sees deceit.
wonder if his heart was ever really there.

"no" she thinks outloud.

noces a dust mite in her old journal and decies to give a new story
the story of her hearts first true love.

torn apart by a simple misunderstanding...
of emotions.
fearfullyu she glares out a dirty window into the busy street she wanders around her new found freedom
wishing she had something, someone more to hold onto.
she lights another cigarette.
something to love her unconditionally.

and someday when its unexpoected she'll find it.
she will enjoy her life with someone new, and true.
someone who isn't an enabler and who wishes for a real love.
she'll find hers.