its hard to wake up and know that soon your life as you know it will be ending...
to know that the person you love the most is going away forever
and to know that it could have been different if you hadn't made that certain decision months ago.
you know the one... and yet, here you are. always making bad decisions for yourself...
and only now realizing you shouldn't have made the choice you did.

but who knew it would end this way? i should have known from the beginning that things dont work out for me. people aren't real.
people dont tell the truth, and love doesn't exist.

its this crazy illusion, something that you only see because you think its there. a mirage.
basically its like he gave me rose colored glasses and I just wore them regardless of what I thought..
because I wanted to be in love, because I saw how perfect things were
but again itw as a crazy mirage.
a phony picture in my mind.
now i have to spend the next few months regathering my heart and emotions.
adjusting to him not being in her life... but a constant reminder of what they had
always.
she'll be living with his family. a constant reminder of the love she has for him.
oh how she wishes she never made this choice..
i need a cigarette but i have none.


i wish i wasn't alive.