So up until I moved out to Arizona my life felt like a disappointment. When I got here I was so happy, it was sickening, really. I was so in love and everything was so perfect.
Well, I should have realized then that never happens to me. So I knew something bad was about to happen.

Who knew though, really? I mean, I spent the last 3 years of my life reconstructing my emotion system. Being able to let myself love again, it was so hard to let him and it was so hard to figure things out... but I did. I made it, I figured things out...

I really didn't think I could be in another bad relationship, but this wasn't 'bad'. This was perfect... I guess it was just a lie, or atleast that's how its starting to feel. now I don't want to get out bed in the morning... but I force myself.

I'm not a bad person, why do shit things keep happening to me?
For any of my friends who care for me, or want to know what's going on with me...a nd read this...
I'm going to be homeless for a while. I don't have a place to go, and the person I'm in love with is no longer in love with me.

For reference, Dennis... you do'nt just fall out of love.
and you can't run away from your problems. You'll realize about 2 months into leaving that you're still the same person with the same needs, and the same feelings. Whether you choose to listen to them or not. it isn't your father that is making you put your life on hold... you didn't have to be on hold the entire time I was here. You didn't have to stop working, you wanted to. and we had plenty of time to both get jobs and save money.. but you made it seem hopeless...
Am I really supposed to believe that you ever loved me? because if you did you wouldn't have ended it like this.
You'll see when you start your next relationship, and do this to the next girl... I'm the only one who ever really loved *YOU*. because you can't be yourself with any other woman... because you isn't really good enough for them.
hopefully.
i wish you luck on trying to figure what will make you happy. although, i know nothing will.. because you believe the world is against you... and you are insatiable in the happiness sense.

i plan on leaving soon. i can't sit here and cry about how my hearts broken, it'll jsut get worse when you leave.. so if I leave first, then youc an blame me. and then I can blame myself.
but we both know it was you. you lie to yourself and say just want to get rid of me. but youre just scared of being in love iwth me. youre just scared of having a real relationship....

i hate that you did this to me.