I live in this whirlpool of drama, frenzy, and pain. I swear my life doesn't even slow down for a minute. And when it does, I feel soooo depressed. and so alone.
I've discovered a new love for saving money. also, I'm in love with nick, or atleast I think I am. I haven't actually tested my theory. It's really too bad that I've gotten myself to where I am, based on a few goodnight kisses, amazing oral, and makeout sessions, and some sexual encounters. I don't know, the first time he kissed me, it was on the top of my head. I think it was just to be nice because I kissed him on the arm, but still... it was sweet. who knows!
now he wants to be friends with no physical or sexual stuff.. I don't mind if we don't have sex... but I guess I want something more than a friendship. Apparently it is just out of the questions, and I truly believe that I am scaring him away. I'm so passionate and outgoing, but why would that be scary? Unless, of course, he is shy, and perhaps he does like me a lot. Maybe he is just a pussy. I don't even know... we'll see how things go...