so...I don't think you understand that eighty percent of the poetry I write is about you.
I don't use your name because I prefer privacy in my life. I really only put the names of friends, and on occasion I'll let a name slip. Except yours, I'm not sure why. Probably because I've got an entire hand written journal dedicated to you. It sucks that you can't get away from where you are, but I really believe that your vices make you who you are. I believe that ab out everyone. I also think when you're ready to step it up, and be the person you CAN be, you will. You're one of the most silly, fun, intelligent people that I know, and I love talking to you. and I know in the past I haven't been honest with you, but since all that stuff with Jonathan, I have. I'm pretty big on honestly lately... I know it sounds weird, but I guess I changed a lot. It's okay that you l ied to me about Emme, I understand... I mean, I guess I don't understand WHY you lied, but I understand your attachment to her. and honestly, I can be dedicated to you, and we can live where we do. Visiting is fun, and it will let us see how we like each other outside of what we already know.
The weird thing is, I already like you for you, and that is all I've ever liked you for. It isn't becuase you're in a band, or your drinking and smoking.
It isn't anything like that, and it's not that I won't move, it's that I can't... I wish we would have gotten this out in the open a year ago, but I guess, like I said before it takes all the bad, and hitting rock bottom to realize what we have, and what we need. I made a promise to my parents, and I made a promise to myself... I'm going to go to school, and get my degree, and hopefully get a job, and when I do, I'd love to move somewhere closer. I'll have a degree in fashion design, so I will most likely be living in LA. I, too, feel stupid for not trying to save things so long ago... but, I think it's good that we went through and did some things we may or may not regret. I think that was something we both needed.
I guess what I'm trying to say, Steven, is that I'm sorry things ended up how they did. and I love you, too. I'm not lying to you. I want to be with you too...
I don't use your name because I prefer privacy in my life. I really only put the names of friends, and on occasion I'll let a name slip. Except yours, I'm not sure why. Probably because I've got an entire hand written journal dedicated to you. It sucks that you can't get away from where you are, but I really believe that your vices make you who you are. I believe that ab out everyone. I also think when you're ready to step it up, and be the person you CAN be, you will. You're one of the most silly, fun, intelligent people that I know, and I love talking to you. and I know in the past I haven't been honest with you, but since all that stuff with Jonathan, I have. I'm pretty big on honestly lately... I know it sounds weird, but I guess I changed a lot. It's okay that you l ied to me about Emme, I understand... I mean, I guess I don't understand WHY you lied, but I understand your attachment to her. and honestly, I can be dedicated to you, and we can live where we do. Visiting is fun, and it will let us see how we like each other outside of what we already know.
The weird thing is, I already like you for you, and that is all I've ever liked you for. It isn't becuase you're in a band, or your drinking and smoking.
It isn't anything like that, and it's not that I won't move, it's that I can't... I wish we would have gotten this out in the open a year ago, but I guess, like I said before it takes all the bad, and hitting rock bottom to realize what we have, and what we need. I made a promise to my parents, and I made a promise to myself... I'm going to go to school, and get my degree, and hopefully get a job, and when I do, I'd love to move somewhere closer. I'll have a degree in fashion design, so I will most likely be living in LA. I, too, feel stupid for not trying to save things so long ago... but, I think it's good that we went through and did some things we may or may not regret. I think that was something we both needed.
I guess what I'm trying to say, Steven, is that I'm sorry things ended up how they did. and I love you, too. I'm not lying to you. I want to be with you too...
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