all of last nights thoughts were a blur
just a colorful mess of tears and giggles
i've never felt more comfortable in the arms of one person


talking about m y grandmother is hard. i'm aware that i have this horrible emotional attachment to her
i'm also aware of my emotions since i've reconstructed my life
i'm much much more ready to cry at the drop of a hat like when iw as a child
throwing a fit to cause a scene
to get what i wanted
everytime i left her house i'd cry like a baby
for years and years i couldn't deal with leaving her...
the truth is;
grandma, i love you more than i could ever love another person, and you mean more to me than any amount of words i could ever type in this journal.

and i know you'll never read this, but can't... you know nothing of it..
but eventually i'll tell you how much i love you. eventually i'll tell you how i feel
when i'm strong enough to handle it myself.

until then... you are in my heart, and i can't wait to hug you.
i love you more than these words describe.
please hold me as dear as i could possibly hold you

keep me safe, keep me warm
and leave me these endearing words to remember forever...