Well. Uh i had a better night last night! I talked to Aqua last night till like 12:30 adn then to *rainbow dick* until like 3!?!??! Um I had been talking to gary for a bit. i was really liking his company. I enjoyed talking to him and i enjoyed listening to him talk. It was one the best "pseudo-relationships" i have ever had! i cant even believe that i fell for it. He was like i really like you. i was like im horribly ugly and fat, how can you. he was like no, your perfect, he called me his perfect little angel. what the hell is that when he is so nice to me adn i just fall for it. and he fucks me over that way!?!? It would be different if we hadnt gotten so close. How you can let your self be so vulnerable and then let it go like that. i know that i liked what i felt! but obviously he didnt like what he was feeling because he left me here alone. i wrote hella shit today about what i was feeling adn i think that it made me feel a lot better!?!? Um heres a little bit of it.


~Yes
Chills all over
The Pain can not subside
My Spine is shaking
From you i can not hide
I cant feel you here beside me
Are you really there?
Just a feeling, teasing me, taunting me?
Or are you a reality, a realistic spirit?
Is this just a test to see how strong I am?
If it is I'm failing
Am i supposed to make it work?
How can I feel so much emotions
When my life is going downt he drains?